How many of you have ever had issues trusting God? I have
had issues with trust in the past, it can be very hard to count on people, especially
when people keep letting you down and you keep getting hurt. But it isn’t supposed
to be like that with God, however as ashamed as I am to admit it, I do have
issue trusting God at times, even when He gives me every reason to trust Him.
It is terrible I know, and while I am learning, those of you who have read
previous posts know, its I not a lesson that I have learned quickly. Here is
the latest story of how I KNOW that God has everything in his hands, and I can trust
him no matter what.
A few weeks ago, the school here lost internet, I talked
about it in my last post, but for those of you who didn’t read it here’s a “quick”
recap, I had been doing some updates to our network equipment, trying to
prepare everything for when I leave. In the process of that I lost all internet
for the school, there were some settings that got messed up and no matter what
I tried I couldn’t get things to work. I was really freaking out because I knew
that I was really going to hear it the next day when I had to tell the teachers
“hey the internet is down” I actually did hear it the next morning haha. When
people hear the internet is out no amount of “I’m working on it” makes them feel
better. Anyway, I was praying like crazy, trying everything I could think of. I
reset the equipment more times than I can remember. I finally realized there
was nothing more I could do until IT&E (our internet provider) opened the
next day. (seriously what kind of 18th century internet company is
this, where they don’t have 24/7 Techs ready to solve your every problem??) I unsuccessfully
tried to get some sleep. I was so worried, even though I knew that eventually we
would get things running again. I really felt like had failed (which I did) and
I didn’t want to face the staff the next day to tell them I broke the internet.
The next day I called IT&E again and made sure they were
sending someone out to help me, they assured me they were but as it is with
most things in Saipan he never showed, Then I had a thought, (I believe God put
this into my head) to have IT&E change a setting on their end, So I called again
and talked to a tech and told him what settings to change. He told me the
changes had been made and asked me if things were working again, I looked and started
to say no, but then everything started to connect again! The internet was saved,
and all was well with the school. I was so thankful, and immediately stated
thanking God. However as happy as I was, I couldn’t help but wonder why God couldn’t
just have fixed it the night before. Why did I have to go though that sleepless
night, all the stress and worry? I just figured that God was just using this as
a way for me to learn that I need to trust in Him more, or maybe one of those
things that I would have to ask in heaven.
I had mostly forgotten about this experience until yesterday.
Now, shortly after the Typhoon, a man from the JOY FM radio station, located in
Guam came to Saipan to work on the antenna and equipment that is located here,
that got damaged from the storm. I got to go with him and learn about the equipment
and help out a little with repairs. Since then whenever something goes down at the
Saipan station, they call me and I go up and see if it’s something I can fix, or
if they need to call in the big guns. Yesterday I was supposed to help the
IT&E people upgrade the internet modem at the station. Things went fine
with the upgrade, the Tech got everything installed but when he said it was all
done there was no internet. We tried for hours to get things working, calling different
people and trying every setting we could think of. The IT&E guy had to
leave after a bit, so I kept working trying to get things working again. While
working on it we had the station on the non-live back up, so they were still
broadcasting, and I decided that I needed to give up for the day and go get
some lunch and make an appointment with IT&E for the following day. As I
was leaving, I was reminded about the situation at the school a few weeks ago,
and realized it was the exact same problem. So, after lunch I went to the tower
and called IT&E and had them change the settings from their end. It worked!
We had internet again and after a few hours of changing things around on the stations
network, we had live radio working again and all the devices working as they should.
The moral of this story is pretty obvious. I should have trusted
God way back then. Even after all He has done for me, I was still questioning
why things happened the way they did. I know now. If I had not learned that
lesson several weeks ago at the school, I wouldn’t have had the knowledge to
fix the problem with the station. As always God knows exactly what He is doing.
Things will happen that we may not know the reason for, but never forget, God
is in control, and as for all those little things we can’t understand? Well we just
can’t see the whole picture yet.
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